“Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly…“

It was 4th grade and I was at an assembly, ready to take the stage. We had been reciting this Langston Hughes poem for what felt like months. I don’t remember what my part was, but I was tasked with going up to the stage and saying my line and then I would sit down on the stage.

The metaphors of the broken-winged bird and later, the barren, frozen field spoke to me. It made me think of the end of possibilities and hope. Frightening, indeed.

How can we hold fast to our dreams?

The past year, I have been reading Atomic Habits in bits and pieces. It is by James Clear, who got into studying habits after suffering a severe head injury.

In this post, I’ll talk about two tiny habits that can make a big impact. For more, go buy the book, it’s worth it. And by clicking that link and purchasing the book, I receive a small commission.

Now, moving on to us being better versions of ourselves.

We don’t have to let our dreams die. We need systems that help us to do the things that move us toward those dreams.

Systems do not sound like an exciting way to realize dreams but systems are powerful vehicles for change. Systems also eliminate having to think about small decisions each time we make them. We automate things that don’t require careful thought and free our brains up for higher level stuff.

Even though, we would like to believe that we are in full control of our behavior and decisions, much of the time during our day we are making unconscious and automated decisions. This is why the right systems can be pivotal.

To make the point, I’ll give you an example of a bad system I developed.

I got into the habit of painting whenever the inspiration hit. Usually, this was in the late afternoon. So, I would start painting, then realize I hadn’t gotten dinner ready. Dinner was late. I was agitated because I wanted to continue painting. My family was hungry and our children were trying to distract themselves from the chaos by playing video games and YouTube videos, which made me feel overstimulated while I prepared dinner.

The relative calmness that usually happened in the late afternoon should have been a cue for me to go for a brief walk and then get dinner ready. Instead, the late afternoon was a cue for me to take out my art supplies and start painting.

The cue and the things that followed were just tiny parts of a system that was not working for me or my family.

Later on, I started waking early to paint and set a timer for myself. Instead of the calmness of the afternoon being a cue, the serenity of the twilight became my cue to take out my art supplies and paint.

Moving on to the second aspect: How we perceive ourselves determines what we do. Humans often take pride in their identity. Real behavioral transformation involves a shift in identity. The greater the pride we feel in a specific facet of our identity, the more motivated we are to hold on to the habits that are associated with that identity. Whether it is to our detriment or benefit.

Take, for instance, transforming from someone who loves to paint to identifying as a Painter. Shifting from someone who enjoys teaching to embracing the identity of a teacher. So then, you would ask yourself: What would a Painter do? Or What would a teacher do?

Embodying the persona of someone who is already living your dream allows your mind to focus in on the decisions that person makes each day in order to live that life.

So, what have we learned? Living our dreams involves using systems, a series of small habits that build up to big changes. And, rather than solely altering behavior, becoming the person who maintains the habits that lead you to your dreams.

What tiny habits have you adopted that is helping you live the life you want